Light the Night Walk

On October 27 we did our first Light the Night Walk in Walnut Creek. Light the Night is another event sponsored by the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and is a casual, approximately 2 mile walk for survivors, patients and supporters of people with blood cancers. It also is for those who walk in remembrance of someone who lost their battle. 

We registered ourselves as TEAM CARINA and made these fun t-shirts and hats to wear.

Here's Dad, his daughters and (most) grandkids

Everyone who walks gets an illuminated balloon - red is for supporters, white is for patients/survivors and gold is for in memory. The pictures don't do it justice, but it's a very moving sight to see so many illuminated balloons all at once.

Grandpa gets stroller duty

The whole family minus Randy

Me and Ate

In the first couple of years after my mom died we would all get together on her birthday and have dinner. As the years have passed, we've stopped doing that, mainly because of busy schedules I think. I look forward to getting the family together for these types of events and remembering and honoring our mother this way. It's good to see that we are not the only ones who have dealt with this struggle and that there is still more to do for those who are fighting now.

My Mission Moment

This week at training I shared my mom's story during our team "mission moment" - when we honor someone who has been affected by blood cancer or LLS in some way. It's a chance to remind us all, the reasons we are out there training, fundraising and working hard. It's the inspiration that drives us.

I requested to dedicate this week's training to my mom because it was held at Mare Island, a place that I frequented as a child growing up, and fittingly, it was almost always with my mom. She loved to exercise at this Vallejo waterfront, early in the morning, walking the length of it several times as we talked about anything and everything.

Here's what I shared with my team today:

I lost my mother Carina to lymphoma 7 years ago. She was diagnosed one month before my wedding day and I had no idea if she would be there to see me walk down the aisle on the most important day of my life. Thankfully, the universe gave me a break and she was released from the hospital less than a week to my wedding, after having undergone several weeks of aggressive chemotherapy. Her hair was very thin and she lost so much weight her dress had to be taken in at the last minute, but all that mattered was that she was there. And although she fought her hardest, she passed away 8 months later. When I became a mother for the first time, I found myself grieving all over again, for the grandmother my son would never have. It was at that point I knew that the best way for my son to know who she was, was to pass on the life lessons she taught me.

The most valuable lesson my mom taught me was to always lend a hand and help those less fortunate than ourselves; and that if you give to others, your reward will be tenfold. From a very early age I accompanied her as she volunteered at our church, soup kitchens, food banks, the library, and the hospital. I learned that giving was so much more rewarding than receiving, and that true integrity came not from what you do for yourself, but what you do for others.

I joined Team in Training to continue her legacy of giving, especially to those patients and families who have been affected by blood cancers. I hope that my efforts will give them the resources and support to continue fighting where my mom left off. I also hope that walking those 13 miles will honor my mother’s life, and that my two sons will now learn from my example, just as I learned from hers.

In addition to dedicating this week's training to my mom, all my teammates wore her picture pinned to their hat or shirt as they trained. 

It was an emotional but rewarding day. A big thank you to my Solano Team for the love and support!

P.S. I walked 7 miles today and had my fastest time yet - 15.4 mins/mile. Yay me!!

Missing her today

I never knew I could hurt like this 
And everyday life goes on like 
I wish I could talk to you for awhile
 Miss you but I try not to cry 
As time goes by 
And it's true that you've reached a better place 
Still I'd give the world to see your face 
And I'm right here next to you 
But it's like you're gone too soon 
Now the hardest thing to do is say bye bye 
 Bye Bye, bye bye, bye bye 
Bye bye 
 And you never got the chance to see how good I've done 
And you never got to see me back at number one 
I wish that you were here to celebrate together

 I wish that we could spend the holidays together...

Haven't heard this song by Mariah Carey in a really long time, but found myself listening to it this afternoon on the radio. I couldn't help but think about my mom and the lyrics ring so true. Trying to channel the sad feelings into inspiration and motivation for my marathon. Some days I just miss her, especially when I look at my sons and wish they could have met her....