Return to Civilization

Maternity leave has come to an end...I returned to the office yesterday, although I began sending Lucas to daycare at the beginning of the week to get him acclimated. Despite this being my second go-round with sending a child to daycare, it was still bittersweet and I missed having his warm little body constantly at my side the first two days. That being said, there is a part of me that welcomes the "return to civilization" and the part of my life that is solely ME. I relish having a career which I enjoy, coworkers who are friends, and a space where I can learn and feel challenged mentally. Don't get me wrong, there are days where I sit in my cubicle and miss my kids terribly, and feel like I am a bad mother for not being there to raise them every minute of the day. There are nights where I watch them sleep, lamenting that they are bigger than they were the day before, and wondering whether I gave them enough attention in the few hours between coming home and bedtime. Despite those moments of insecurity, I know that in the grand scheme of things I am doing what is right for myself and for my family.

It is an interesting experience going back to work after maternity leave, particularly the first time. You come back to the office and it's like nothing there has changed, yet you are an entirely different person. I think motherhood actually changes your outlook on work (and life in general) for the better. Motherhood is the ultimate Project Management position! You become super-efficient, prioritize like a pro and power through your to-do list despite sleeping in 15-minute increments the night before. My personal acquired skill: I can do anything one-handed...seriously, ANYTHING.

Joking aside, your life completely changes when you bring that little baby into the world. When you are tasked with nurturing and caring for another life, you quickly realize what really matters in life. And the truth is, not much matters except for your health and the people you love. Emails, deadlines and petty office coworkers quickly fade to gray and merely become background noise to your life. Motherhood has taught me how to appreciate life and how to let go of the things that I cannot control.I have a second chance in life to find joy in the little and big things. Motherhood isn't for everyone, but I am grateful for the opportunity.

An A for Effort

Somehow, somewhere, the Parenting Gods were smiling down on us because we were fortunate enough to avoid the dreaded Terrible Twos with Cruz. He's just a few months shy of turning 4 and we have never had to deal with tantrums, kicking, screaming or public meltdowns (still knocking on wood). He has proven to be a level-headed kid that can be reasoned with, and will usually go along with whatever we say as long as he is provided an explanation. Despite his easy disposition, we knew it was still important to discipline him as he grew older.

Both Randy and I grew up in families where parents were the ultimate authorities. They were never questioned, talked back to or disrespected. Even when they were unreasonable or unfair, their word was the final say and there was nothing that could be done about it. Growing up I vowed to be more lenient and "cooler" than my parents. As we all know, hindsight is always 20/20. Even in my short 3 1/2 years as a parent, I already realize the value of being the authority in your child's life and demanding their obedience and respect. When they are toddlers, it provides structure for their developing minds and gives them a framework for their broadening worlds. As teenagers, it allows parents to keep a tight rein on hormonal adolescents who think they are invincible. That being said, I'm not aspiring to be the next Tiger Mother, but I do want my children to grow up being accountable for their actions and knowing that there are consequences their behavior choices.

I got a great tip from my friend Violeta, a child psychiatrist, who suggested using a behavior chart to begin teaching Cruz. I downloaded some blank templates to use for Cruz. There are 5 spaces to list out the child's daily tasks/expectations. Here are Cruz's tasks for this week:

1. Say "please" and "thank you"
2. Put away toys every night
3. No interrupting when other people are talking
4. Feed myself at dinner
5. Stay in my seat at dinner

At the end of each day, Randy or I review each of Cruz's tasks with him, and decide whether he accomplished them. For each successfully completed task, he gets a star. If he receives at least 3 stars (a majority) that day, he is awarded with a special sticker (these run the gamut of cars, trucks,and food - all of which he helped pick out).

This continues for the whole week, and at the end of the week, if Cruz accumulates at least 4 special stickers (again, a majority) he gets to choose a reward from the prize box!

We are only 4 days into our first behavior chart and we've already seen an improvement with Cruz. He knows that we'll be checking to see if he picked up his toys or stayed in his seat at dinner, and that's enough for him to make an effort so that he earns a star. Violeta mentioned that not all children respond well to the behavior chart because it's a delayed reward system, but luckily it has struck a chord with Cruz. I am so proud of my little guy and how hard he tries to do the right thing...I'm a lucky mommy!

Oxbow Public Market

With Randy currently on a Wards schedule (translation: works up to 80 hours/wk, no weekends off and only 1 day off a week), we try to make the most of his precious time off. The weather was gorgeous yesterday so we decided to head over to Napa for lunch. We are so lucky to live less than an hour away from this beautiful wine country. We have a lot of favorite restaurants in the Napa area including Brix, Bouchon, and Gott's Roadside, but we decided to stroll through the Oxbow Public Market. The market is housed inside a large hall filled with wonderful purveyors of coffee, spices, cheese, seafood, other fine foods and of course, good eats. Before settling down for lunch we sauntered through the hall, checking out the different vendors.

I spent a good amount of time poring over the spice jars at Whole Spice Company, where they have every spice, salt and seasoning blend you can think of. There were so many I wanted to try but settled on an organic seasoning mix for roasted chicken and sea salt with porcini mushrooms that I'm going to try on salmon.

At the Olive Press, they have great little utensils and tools for olive lovers.

We also admired the awesome cheese selection at Oxbow Cheese Merchant but managed to refrain from buying anything this time. I snapped a picture of this bumper sticker which made me laugh and reminded me of my good friend April, another cheese-lover.

Lucas and I "shopping" for lunch!

I decided to get lunch at Pica Pica Maize Kitchen which offers traditional Venezuelan fare. I've never had Venezuelan food before so I was excited to try it out. I chose an arepa (grilled corn flour cake) with pernil (pulled pork), topped with fresh tomato and avocado. I also ordered garlic yucca fries on the side. The food was amazing! So fresh, flavorful and different from anything I've tried before. The pulled pork wasn't as smoky as the American version but still so tasty. The yucca fries were surprisingly crispy given how large they were cut and their natural starchiness. I will definitely be going back to sample their other menu options.

Randy opted for a wood-fired pizza from Ca'Momi with prosciutto and mushrooms. I was so engrossed in my own lunch that I forgot to get a picture of his pizza, but suffice it to say it was delicious, especially the fresh crust.

Although we are both have shameless sweet tooths, Randy and I were too stuffed for any dessert (a rarity). Next time we'll try some homemade ice cream from Three Twins. It was another beautiful day in the Napa Valley and time well spent on a day off.

Firehouse Visit

Yesterday Josie, the two boys and I spent the afternoon in Davis. We met up with two of my friends from work - Caroleen and Francis - and their lovely families, for lunch at the ever-popular Fuji's sushi buffet. After stuffing our bellies we took the kids for a real treat: a visit to one of the local firehouses! It was the first time for nearly all the kids (and adults for that matter), and it was a great experience. The firemen were warm, hospitable and were happy to show the kids the engines, equipment and answer any questions.

The kids got lots of swagg including junior fire chief hats, pencils, activity worksheets, tattoos and bracelets. Cruz loved sitting inside the engine and pretending he was a firefighter!

But his favorite part was seeing all the heavy-duty equipment inside the tool engine.

After the tour, we built our own ice cream sundaes, courtesy of Caroleen. The kids had so much fun chatting with the firemen and asking questions. It was an awesome afternoon and one that I hope Cruz will always remember.

Baby love

Lucas was doing tummy time this evening when Randy got home from work.

He came to kiss Lucas hello at the exact same time that Cruz was giving his little brother some love. I snapped a picture at just the right time.

Family Resolutions

I personally make New Year's resolutions every year, but this is the first year that Randy and I talked about setting some family goals. Despite having two kids and two full-time jobs plus lengthy commutes, we still wanted to have something to work towards that would keep our family going in a positive direction.

Here they are in no particular order:

1. Attend church at least twice a month. Both of us were raised in the Catholic church and attended mass on a regular basis with our parents. As adults (pre-children) we also attended weekly. However, two kids, medical residency and the aforementioned commutes, this practice has wound up on the back burner.

2. Take our children to at least 3 new places this year. There are no better life lessons than ones found in the real world and we are firm believers in exposing our children to as much as possible. I think it's so important to teach kids that there is a bigger world out there than the house they live in, their families, friends and their immediate community. I want my kids to grow up embracing diversity and appreciating all walks of life and I hope to instill this through travel and new experiences. I just ordered the book "100 Places to Take Your Kids Before They Grow Up" to keep us inspired!

3. "Parents only" time once a month. Commonly known as "date night" I thought it was important to put this one into writing. As all parents know, once children enter the picture, the relationship between spouses often gets overlooked. Add to that the myriad of external stressors such as work, friends, extended family, hobbies, and just plain old not-enough-hours-in-the-day, it's easy to see how marriages can become unglued. Randy and I realize we need to make a conscious effort to nurture our relationship by carving out this little bit of time for ourselves every month.

4. Volunteer as a family. One of my mom's legacies was her love of volunteering. It was an activity that she began with my sister and I from a young age and continued throughout her life. I will never forget the times we volunteered together and what it taught me about other people, my own life and my parents. Rather than constantly telling me I should be thankful for what I had, I realized that on my own as I helped her assemble grocery bags at a food locker where families would come to pick up food and supplies. Although Cruz will only be 4 years old this year, I believe it is never too early to learn gratitude or how to give to others. I am truly excited at the idea of being able to volunteer in some way as a family. For anyone who's interested, there is a great organization called Hands On Bay Area that has virtually every type of volunteering available, all you have to do is sign up and show up!

So there you have it, our 2012 family goals. Wish us luck and check back to see our progress!

Fun with 'staches

With cooler temperatures and cold and flu season underway, I try to keep little Lucas from too much exposure to the general public. As a result I sometimes get a little cabin fever and need to entertain myself...